I can't find the reason why I'm always dispirited, it's too easy to fall into frustration, and then chaos filled up my world.
           

L'arc~en~ciel - Dive to blue       “はばたくのさ　すぐに” 誰かささやいた ひざ下の境界線飛んでしまおうよ 背中合わせの自由 “さびた鎖に最初からつながれてなんて なかったんだよ” 胸に胸に空をつめて 青色の深くに沈みたい どこまでも果てなく夜空をまとい 新しい世界を探そう 会いたくて会えなくて揺れまどうけれど 目覚めた翼は消せない 何が正しいなんて答えは無いさ 枝分れした道　神のみぞ知る 止められないスピード加速するほど 鼓動は高く高鳴り覚えていくよ 何もかもが墜ちてくけど 君だけは大人にならないで 懐かしい光に導かれて あなたは優しく手を振る 見なれた未来にも別れを告げて& lt; br>壊れた幻想をえがこう 定められた運命を切り裂いて空へと抜け出そう 今も今も覚えている 幼い頃に見た朝焼けを どこまでも果てなく夜空をまとい 新しい世界を探そう 会いたくて会えなくて揺れまどうけれど 目覚めた翼は消せない 懐かしい光に導かれて あなたは優しく手を振る 見なれた未来にも別れを告げて 壊れた幻想をえがこう 定められた運命を切り裂いて空へと抜け出そう 終わる "Just jump now!" Whoes whisper is that? "Fly to the skyline!" That freedom is my desire. Just let the rusted lock stay locked from the beginning. Now only the sky is my aim. Just like dive deep into the blue. Wandering through the boundless sky at night, Exploring my new world. Sometimes fluctuated by the dizzy sight, But the new born wings won't disappear. It's impossbile to decide which is right, Maybe only the God knows the answer. Accelerating with no limit, listening to my heart beat. Guiding by the ray that you've been longing for, waving your arms softly, like a farewell to the world which you can't reach, like a description of your broken dream. Fragment the fate into pieces and throw them to the air! Now you can see, the morning glory you've seem in your childhood, Wandering through the boundless sky at night, Exploring my new world. Sometimes fluctuated by the dizzy sight, But the new born wings won't disappear. Guiding by the ray that you've been longing for, waving your arms softly, like a farewell to the world which you can't reach, like a description of your broken dream. Fragment the fate into pieces and throw them to the air!

Sorry but I have to let the mobile phone ringing till you got the message "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed does not response.."
I don't wanna talk with you, I don't know why I'm afraid to hear your call.
Maybe it seems that I'm a freak, for you are one of my so few amount of friends ( at least, you consider me to your friend )
I think we are totally different, or I'm not going to show my self to you, while you don't know?
Lack of the ability to change the relationship with people, I don't know how to change a stranger into my friend, and change a friend into stranger, neither.
My apologize.

The first glance of Rachmaninov is when I listened to his <Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini>, the melody is so impressing , especially the 18th variation .( on the other hand, it was so popular that so many cheap artist modified it to some low quality compositions that without any advantage except pleasant to hear ), this section has been used as the theme of the film <Somewhere in Time>.
At first I loved this section too much to pay more attention to other sections.
Afterwards I found that Rachmaninov's music is much more than elegance or gorgeous when I listened to his Piano Concerto No.2, which contains all essentials of his art.
Everytime when I listen to it, the emotion in the melody grasps my heart: lyrical melody extended from small motifs, predominant melancholy and nostalgia.
Rachmaninov is a man with icy demeanor and proctective mechanism that gain from his painful youth, his parents gave him little help, his father, auctioned off the property of their family quickly to pay debts, and at last, dissappear from his life.
Why he determined to be a musician? Maybe just because of his gifts.
Though he was always depressed, I can see the glorious scene built up in the world of his Concerto No.2, or fierce struggle after muttered for a long time, but even the mutter is so harmonious. It described the interior of Rachmaninov so precisely: A noble, but frustrated and longly man, sigh and struggle for his honor.

I've nothing to say at all. Just keep quiet and wait for the light's coming.